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Postby Drevid on Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:27 pm

huh... sometimes I read thread here or speak with people and think to myself I have to be the only goddamn sane person left.

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
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Postby ihearthorses on Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:46 pm

My cousins are mormons and they're all fucking crazy. Brandon got expelled from school for selling ammunition (for hunting), he didn't understand why this might be a problem in a school just outside of Santa Cruz. He also got sent as a missionary to Rio. Something about knocking on the doors of coked up Brazilians in an overwhelmingly Roman Catholic country sounds terrifying. Apparently he survived despite having guns drawn on him over 10 times, thank Mormon god.

Christine got married and knocked up immediately after she turned 18, she now spends her days scrap-booking in Utah. I guess that's what mormon wives do. My aunt and uncle also have a room filled with taxidermied animals in their basement, which is where I slept when I went to visit as a young boy. It was kind of like a petting zoo of dead animals, but they smelled, and they looked at you with lifeless eyes. I had frequent nightmares while sleeping there, snuggling up next to a stuffed Badger is not as cute as you might think.

Apparently my Aunt can pray for my soul though and when I die, I wont be sent to hell for not being a Mormon. Instead I go into some type of "noob" heaven which sounds pretty cool. I don't get to hang out with the mormons in the really cool heaven, but at least I don't have to go to hell. I hope that the noob heaven has Dragonrealms at least. Maybe the noob heaven IS Dragonrealms, that would be crazy.
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You are in no position to be calling "shenanigans" on anything.
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Postby Quanette on Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:49 pm

Apparently my Aunt can pray for my soul though and when I die, I wont be sent to hell for not being a Mormon. Instead I go into some type of "noob" heaven which sounds pretty cool. I don't get to hang out with the mormons in the really cool heaven, but at least I don't have to go to hell. I hope that the noob heaven has Dragonrealms at least. Maybe the noob heaven IS Dragonrealms, that would be crazy.


lol What is wrong with you
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Postby BirkanDR on Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:49 pm

If you die and show up in DR I'm pretty sure you're not in any kind of heaven.
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Postby huldah's pal on Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:00 pm

ihearthorses wrote:My cousins are mormons and they're all fucking crazy. Brandon got expelled from school for selling ammunition (for hunting), he didn't understand why this might be a problem in a school just outside of Santa Cruz. He also got sent as a missionary to Rio. Something about knocking on the doors of coked up Brazilians in an overwhelmingly Roman Catholic country sounds terrifying. Apparently he survived despite having guns drawn on him over 10 times, thank Mormon god.

Christine got married and knocked up immediately after she turned 18, she now spends her days scrap-booking in Utah. I guess that's what mormon wives do. My aunt and uncle also have a room filled with taxidermied animals in their basement, which is where I slept when I went to visit as a young boy. It was kind of like a petting zoo of dead animals, but they smelled, and they looked at you with lifeless eyes. I had frequent nightmares while sleeping there, snuggling up next to a stuffed Badger is not as cute as you might think.

Apparently my Aunt can pray for my soul though and when I die, I wont be sent to hell for not being a Mormon. Instead I go into some type of "noob" heaven which sounds pretty cool. I don't get to hang out with the mormons in the really cool heaven, but at least I don't have to go to hell. I hope that the noob heaven has Dragonrealms at least. Maybe the noob heaven IS Dragonrealms, that would be crazy.


I'm fascinated. Tell me more.
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Postby fromwork on Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:14 pm

I am totally having your lil newblets so I want to go to Noob Heaven too, Mvorn. Ask your aunt to pray for me as well.
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Postby illjill on Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:45 pm

Quanette wrote:
Apparently my Aunt can pray for my soul though and when I die, I wont be sent to hell for not being a Mormon. Instead I go into some type of "noob" heaven which sounds pretty cool. I don't get to hang out with the mormons in the really cool heaven, but at least I don't have to go to hell. I hope that the noob heaven has Dragonrealms at least. Maybe the noob heaven IS Dragonrealms, that would be crazy.


lol What is wrong with you


Ahahaha I was thinking exactly the same thing. It's really endearing though. I <3 Mvorn.
<&Trent> my rl foraging would be like "forage grass" "you find some dog poop!" "You dont own a dog!"

GrandMasterTrent (11:38:33 PM): and was like "I WISH I COULD TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS TURD AND SEND IT TO YOU
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Postby Korsik on Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:06 pm

Hahaha Bjorn is awesome. That was funny shit.

And uh, back on point... mormons are fucking crazy. I think normal everyday barely practicing protestants are weird enough. Southern Baptists are frightening. etc etc, hovas are ... retarded and a cult. Mormons... fucking loony. I'm a devout athiest. if i cant even believe in a god, why the fuck do you people show up at my door trying to teach me an even more ridiculous version of god? i'm mean to mormons at my door. they always come when im still in bed.
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Postby Rayfe on Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:26 pm

Korsik wrote:Hahaha Bjorn is awesome. That was funny shit.

And uh, back on point... mormons are fucking crazy. I think normal everyday barely practicing protestants are weird enough. Southern Baptists are frightening. etc etc, hovas are ... retarded and a cult. Mormons... fucking loony. I'm a devout athiest. if i cant even believe in a god, why the fuck do you people show up at my door trying to teach me an even more ridiculous version of god? i'm mean to mormons at my door. they always come when im still in bed.


LOL. I'm going to ask the Mormons some questions next time they come to the door.

Where is the Planet Kolob?

How am I suppose to get to the planet?

Does my body travel space to get there? And if it does, at what speed am I moving through space, because I don't want all my time on this perfect planet wasted traveling at sub-light speeds.
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Postby Dragamar on Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:28 pm

Anyone seen the South Park Mormon episode? If any of that is true, thats everything I know about the religion.
ImageImage
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Postby Dulcinia on Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:43 pm

Reene wrote:Okay this is an actual serious question even though I know it won't sound like one to anyone that doesn't know anything about Mormons.

durt - did you wear the magical underpants? Be honest.


OMG these are HOT.

Image

edit: These are even HOTTER!

Image
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Postby huldah's pal on Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:45 pm

Dulcinia wrote:
Reene wrote:Okay this is an actual serious question even though I know it won't sound like one to anyone that doesn't know anything about Mormons.

durt - did you wear the magical underpants? Be honest.


OMG these are HOT.

Image

edit: These are even HOTTER!



Is there a reason?

Also they look ill-fitted.
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Postby george on Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:54 pm

lemagrag wrote: Years ago when I was fresh out of college, I was sitting at home, baked out of my gourd. These 3 cute girls around my age rang the bell and asked if they could come in and talk to me about the book of Mormon. It seemed logical at the time, and we had a great time. They ended up coming back 3 or 4 more times, and every time before they came by I'd prepare by reading the Book of Mormon and passages of the Bible while smoking the hobbits' weed.

The most memorable conversation was one about Larry Bridgebuilder and how he was Jesus or something and needed $4 to get into heaven. They had all these diagrams and pictures and shit. I don't really know what the hell they were talking about, but they sure were cute. Come to think of it, I think Kindredchord may have been there for one or two of those chats.

Good times.


haha nice
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Postby Xenoseal on Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:16 pm

In the olden days they weren't allowed to have sex unless they were specifically trying to breed. So the "sacred" underwear is worn to keep themselves pure in God's eyes even though they have sex.
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Postby Reene on Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:21 pm

Xenoseal wrote:In the olden days they weren't allowed to have sex unless they were specifically trying to breed. So the "sacred" underwear is worn to keep themselves pure in God's eyes even though they have sex.


Close but not quite right.

I hope durt answers, I kinda wanna know what missionaries are taught nowadays.
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