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Postby Auroch on Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:51 pm

durt wrote:
Reene wrote:
Auroch wrote:
WarneckDR wrote:
Phii wrote:I think he was actually calling me a heretical slut. And then showing me what a good christian looks like.


Didn't he say he was Mormon? I could have sworn he mentions wives and being a good Mormon somewhere. So you could totally be one of his wives Phii...unless you farted in bed. Then he would kick you out of his love nest, or something.


Mormons are Christians.


I don't really know that I'd call Mormonism a Christian faith. It departs significantly from basic tenets of the Christian faith. And have you read the Book of Mormon? Niggers are crazy. Moreso than normal.


If your definition of "Christian" is "one who follows Christ", then yes, Mormons are Christians. If you start to qualify "Christian" by adding to its definition, you simply begin to distinguish between different Christian churches - after all, not all Christians believe the same thing. That's why there are different Christian churches.


What he said. I'll just add that the Book of Mormon doesn't say anything "crazier" than the Bible or any other religious text.
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Postby KindredChord on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:01 pm

Auroch wrote:Mormons aren't crazy


"When a Mormon prays

When we pray, the message travels to the planet Kolob, where God, his wives, Jesus (Yahweh) and his wives, and a veritable zoo of celestial beings live. Mormon missionaries teach that Kolob is not in our Milky Way galaxy, but in another one, far, far away.

To consider prayer, a form of celestial communication, we must digress gently to the subject of particle physics. ...

...So, knowing of tachyons, and how they are generated by the human brain during meditation and prayer, shows how it’s possible to communicate very quickly with God on Kolob.

But the real proof that travel to Kolob happens a supraliminal speed comes from the Book of Mormon itself (from Chapter IX. of the Book of Nephi). By the time the spectators and their children had turned to go home for lunch, Jesus was already seated on the throne of Heaven on the planet Kolob, in the constellation Caner, with his father Elohim Jehovah and with his mother Gonhorra."

Ah, yes. The real proof indeed.
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Postby Phii on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:03 pm

The amount of crazy in any religious person is almost always directly correlates to how literally they take their religious text, whatever it is.
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Postby durt on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:04 pm

KindredChord wrote:
Auroch wrote:Mormons aren't crazy


"When a Mormon prays

When we pray, the message travels to the planet Kolob, where God, his wives, Jesus (Yahweh) and his wives, and a veritable zoo of celestial beings live. Mormon missionaries teach that Kolob is not in our Milky Way galaxy, but in another one, far, far away.

To consider prayer, a form of celestial communication, we must digress gently to the subject of particle physics. ...

...So, knowing of tachyons, and how they are generated by the human brain during meditation and prayer, shows how it’s possible to communicate very quickly with God on Kolob.

But the real proof that travel to Kolob happens a supraliminal speed comes from the Book of Mormon itself (from Chapter IX. of the Book of Nephi). By the time the spectators and their children had turned to go home for lunch, Jesus was already seated on the throne of Heaven on the planet Kolob, in the constellation Caner, with his father Elohim Jehovah and with his mother Gonhorra."

Ah, yes. The real proof indeed.


Having been a Mormon missionary... I am impressed at the load of BS you just found. Wow. This is one for the journal.
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Postby P&B on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:14 pm

Ya know I have not had the wherewithal to read this entire thread but what little I have read makes me think of a majorly CREEPY guy of old named, Stravenge, sp. That was one odd fellow, stalked my Paladin PC for about a year....things that make you go hmmmmm
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Postby Rayfe on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:25 pm

durt wrote:
KindredChord wrote:
Auroch wrote:Mormons aren't crazy


"When a Mormon prays

When we pray, the message travels to the planet Kolob, where God, his wives, Jesus (Yahweh) and his wives, and a veritable zoo of celestial beings live. Mormon missionaries teach that Kolob is not in our Milky Way galaxy, but in another one, far, far away.

To consider prayer, a form of celestial communication, we must digress gently to the subject of particle physics. ...

...So, knowing of tachyons, and how they are generated by the human brain during meditation and prayer, shows how it’s possible to communicate very quickly with God on Kolob.

But the real proof that travel to Kolob happens a supraliminal speed comes from the Book of Mormon itself (from Chapter IX. of the Book of Nephi). By the time the spectators and their children had turned to go home for lunch, Jesus was already seated on the throne of Heaven on the planet Kolob, in the constellation Caner, with his father Elohim Jehovah and with his mother Gonhorra."

Ah, yes. The real proof indeed.


Having been a Mormon missionary... I am impressed at the load of BS you just found. Wow. This is one for the journal.


Maybe that's why you aren't a missionary anymore? Anyways ...

There's a treasure trove of goodies out there on Mormons and their Planet Kolob. lawl.
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Postby Reene on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:28 pm

durt wrote:
KindredChord wrote:
Auroch wrote:Mormons aren't crazy


"When a Mormon prays

When we pray, the message travels to the planet Kolob, where God, his wives, Jesus (Yahweh) and his wives, and a veritable zoo of celestial beings live. Mormon missionaries teach that Kolob is not in our Milky Way galaxy, but in another one, far, far away.

To consider prayer, a form of celestial communication, we must digress gently to the subject of particle physics. ...

...So, knowing of tachyons, and how they are generated by the human brain during meditation and prayer, shows how it’s possible to communicate very quickly with God on Kolob.

But the real proof that travel to Kolob happens a supraliminal speed comes from the Book of Mormon itself (from Chapter IX. of the Book of Nephi). By the time the spectators and their children had turned to go home for lunch, Jesus was already seated on the throne of Heaven on the planet Kolob, in the constellation Caner, with his father Elohim Jehovah and with his mother Gonhorra."

Ah, yes. The real proof indeed.


Having been a Mormon missionary... I am impressed at the load of BS you just found. Wow. This is one for the journal.


o hai there. I like the Mormon missionaries they're pretty nice people. My mum always invites them in for free food whenever they come by our house and they offer to do chores for her. It's pretty cool.

My whole family is Mormon. I was baptized as one when I was 7. :|
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<incarna> ladies only allow cocks in their asses, apparently
<kystrk> hell of a way to walk into the convo

<Meragin> dudes typically my foreskin is in the mouth not being stretch and played like a fucking kazoo
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<Asrion> hes really flexible, ok?
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Postby durt on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:32 pm

Rayfe wrote:
durt wrote:
KindredChord wrote:
Auroch wrote:Mormons aren't crazy


"When a Mormon prays

When we pray, the message travels to the planet Kolob, where God, his wives, Jesus (Yahweh) and his wives, and a veritable zoo of celestial beings live. Mormon missionaries teach that Kolob is not in our Milky Way galaxy, but in another one, far, far away.

To consider prayer, a form of celestial communication, we must digress gently to the subject of particle physics. ...

...So, knowing of tachyons, and how they are generated by the human brain during meditation and prayer, shows how it’s possible to communicate very quickly with God on Kolob.

But the real proof that travel to Kolob happens a supraliminal speed comes from the Book of Mormon itself (from Chapter IX. of the Book of Nephi). By the time the spectators and their children had turned to go home for lunch, Jesus was already seated on the throne of Heaven on the planet Kolob, in the constellation Caner, with his father Elohim Jehovah and with his mother Gonhorra."

Ah, yes. The real proof indeed.


Having been a Mormon missionary... I am impressed at the load of BS you just found. Wow. This is one for the journal.


Maybe that's why you aren't a missionary anymore?


lol Last comment and then I'm done. I love how people spout junk about the Church and then don't even know that an LDS missionary serves as a full-time missionary for only 2 years. You guys love the false stuff and are oblivious to the true stuff.
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Postby lemagrag on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:33 pm

durt wrote:
KindredChord wrote:
Auroch wrote:Mormons aren't crazy


"When a Mormon prays

When we pray, the message travels to the planet Kolob, where God, his wives, Jesus (Yahweh) and his wives, and a veritable zoo of celestial beings live. Mormon missionaries teach that Kolob is not in our Milky Way galaxy, but in another one, far, far away.

To consider prayer, a form of celestial communication, we must digress gently to the subject of particle physics. ...

...So, knowing of tachyons, and how they are generated by the human brain during meditation and prayer, shows how it’s possible to communicate very quickly with God on Kolob.

But the real proof that travel to Kolob happens a supraliminal speed comes from the Book of Mormon itself (from Chapter IX. of the Book of Nephi). By the time the spectators and their children had turned to go home for lunch, Jesus was already seated on the throne of Heaven on the planet Kolob, in the constellation Caner, with his father Elohim Jehovah and with his mother Gonhorra."

Ah, yes. The real proof indeed.


Having been a Mormon missionary... I am impressed at the load of BS you just found. Wow. This is one for the journal.


Years ago when I was fresh out of college, I was sitting at home, baked out of my gourd. These 3 cute girls around my age rang the bell and asked if they could come in and talk to me about the book of Mormon. It seemed logical at the time, and we had a great time. They ended up coming back 3 or 4 more times, and every time before they came by I'd prepare by reading the Book of Mormon and passages of the Bible while smoking the hobbits' weed.

The most memorable conversation was one about Larry Bridgebuilder and how he was Jesus or something and needed $4 to get into heaven. They had all these diagrams and pictures and shit. I don't really know what the hell they were talking about, but they sure were cute. Come to think of it, I think Kindredchord may have been there for one or two of those chats.

Good times.
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Postby AJizzle on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:33 pm

I'm suddenly getting the urge to start sending out random PMs with pictures of myself shirtless. Does that work? Girls likey?
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Postby durt on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:38 pm

...resisting... urge..
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Postby Rayfe on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:45 pm

durt wrote:...resisting... urge..


Don't resist. Educate! Tell us all about the planet kolob. When are you going there? How're you planning to get there?

As I understand it from reading the Planet Kolob isn't where your god lives, but it's the closest planet to the residence of god.

How will it work once you're there? Are there interplanetary spaceways between Kolob and gods planet? Like a planetary trolley system.
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Postby illjill on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:50 pm

I think you guys are confusing Mormonism with scientology. Go talk to Tom.
<&Trent> my rl foraging would be like "forage grass" "you find some dog poop!" "You dont own a dog!"

GrandMasterTrent (11:38:33 PM): and was like "I WISH I COULD TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS TURD AND SEND IT TO YOU
GrandMasterTrent (11:38:36 PM): ITS LIKE THE TURD OF A LIFETIME
MarennDR (11:38:38 PM): lol
GrandMasterTrent (11:38:46 PM): b/c it literally looked like i was hiding an 8" black dildo up my ass
GrandMasterTrent (11:38:52 PM): and then pooped it out
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Postby Reene on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:50 pm

Okay this is an actual serious question even though I know it won't sound like one to anyone that doesn't know anything about Mormons.

durt - did you wear the magical underpants? Be honest.
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<incarna> ladies only allow cocks in their asses, apparently
<kystrk> hell of a way to walk into the convo

<Meragin> dudes typically my foreskin is in the mouth not being stretch and played like a fucking kazoo
<Phii> lol typically nigga please
<Phii> You're here playing DR.
<Asrion> hes really flexible, ok?
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Postby Rayfe on Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:51 pm

illjill wrote:I think you guys are confusing Mormonism with scientology. Go talk to Tom.


No, dude. It's mormonism and the Planet Kolob.
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